- (via thaliachantal)
- Wise words from my mom (via m-udhoney)
YOU GUYS IT’S DECEMBER 10TH YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND THIS HAS BEEN IN MY QUEUE SINCE FEBRUARY
the fact that there are animals who can see colors that i cant which means that there are colors that exist that it is literally impossible for me to envision is such fucking bullshit that i wanna rip open a couch and eat it
So I’m just going to go all out in this post. And it’s going to get insanely personal and emotional so I apologize in advance.
I have been so fucking stressed out lately. I’ve been having a lot of problems. A lot of problems at home, a lot of problems financially, and a lot of problems with myself as a person.
My mother lost her job due to her boss retiring in October. Since that happened I’ve been pulling some serious weight and giving her almost half of my (biweekly) paycheck. Mind you I usually only make between $425-$475 a check. Problem with this is, I’m not allowed to tell anybody. I have to do it in secret. My dad doesn’t know. Nobody knows. Except her and I. My father thinks I’m wasting all of my money on stupid shit and it’s causing us to fight. It’s causing a lot of issues between my mother and I as well because I’m feeling very unappreciated and taken advantage of. I’m not really home anymore, I’m either at work or out with friends simply because I can’t sit home and listen to my parents belittle me and yell at me and tell me everything that I’m doing wrong all the time. I beat myself up enough, them on top of it is killing me emotionally and I can’t handle it anymore. I’m ready to break down. So because I’m never home, none of my responsibilities have been getting taken care of. Which is royally pissing them off, and causing more fights. I’m also just very unhappy with myself and I’m getting very depressed. I’m not happy with myself physically but I’ve lost all motivation and willpower to get back in the game. I just want to fix my life but I don’t even know where to begin or how to go about it.
All I want to do is cry right now.